Silver Jacket

Category: Language

  • As Smacked By

    The smack on "as told to," as laid down by me:

    When a person (Subject) tells a story, and it is adapted for publication by a writer (Writer), the byline is generally written, "By Subject, as told to Writer."

    When publications say, "as told to," they really mean, "as told by." We are reading a subject’s story as told by a writer. It’s based on what the subject said, but the writer has interpreted it.

    If the entire article were a direct quote from Subject to Writer, then we would be reading the story as told to the writer. But in that case the writer would merely be playing the role of transcriptionist, and would deserve no place in the byline.

  • Vanity Plates at Fermilab

    Cquark_1The Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, outside of Chicago, is home to the most powerful particle accelerator in the world. One of its biggest successes was the discovery of the last of the six quarks, the top quark, in 1995. (They also discovered the bottom quark in 1977.)

    When I worked at Fermilab (03-04) I did a fairly comprehensive survey of physics-related vanity plates among the staff and users. The number of ways people referenced “quark” on their plates approached the number of ways people spell “Britney Spears” in Google.

    Physicist Michael Tartaglia has owned “DO TOP 1” since he came to the lab in 1990. “I thought it would globally advertise Fermilab’s mission to study the top quark, and locally advertise my affiliation with DZero [one of the particle detectors],” he said.  (He no longer works with DZero, but the ring in “DO” doubles as a letter O, making "DO" a verb.)

    Particle physicist Rajendran Raja has had “TP QUARK” since 1995, the year of the discovery. “I was the top quark convener in DZero from 1990-1994 and felt proud of the achievement of the whole collaboration,” he told me.

    Particle physicist Harry Cheung got “CQUARK 1” in 1997.  He works on an experiment called FOCUS, where they study the charm quark, “though it could stand for ‘See Quark 1,’” he said.  “CQUARK” was not taken, but adding the 1 actually reduces the licensing fee.

    Oh, the equivocating.  Theorist Zach Sullivan kept it simple: “QUARK.”  When he picked it up around 10 years ago, the people at the registry apologized for misspelling “quirk.”  But at Fermilab, there can be no misunderstanding.

  • “This shit hilarious[sic]!!!”

    FreakWacky Weblink Wednesday… Apskati uzmaniigi!

    Check out the parent webpage too. It’s an entire museum of random crap. Gangsta rap? Latvian news broadcasts? Retarded cub scouts? Don’t miss the first episode of "linux virgin!" Seriously, if you can find a pattern in any of this, let me know. I’ve left Pi for the amateurs to figure out and taken this as my life’s challenge.

    Also note: apparently Latvian and leetspeek are really hard to tell apart, especially when mixed ("Kad h4h0ru uzpleesh h4h0rs!!!") Pwned!

  • We Got Your Back

    Nsfw_logoDo you know what I love? I love NSFW. The phrase. The first time I saw it, no one told me what it meant, but I figured it out immediately. And I have a theory that this experience is common.

    Okay, here’s the scenario. You’re at work, you’re surfing the web, you see a link for, say, "Adult Engrish." It’s ambiguous. Adult could mean developmentally mature or it could mean naughty. You look around you and wonder, Is this link safe for work? And then you see a note next to the link: NSFW. Gotcha. I’ll look at it later.

    Now there is even a website to streamline the process of sending NSFW links to friends.

    What I love about NSFW is what it implies about the work experience and human nature. We all waste time at work. And if you’re sitting at a desk using a computer with broadband for eight hours a day, your cursor will wander. The internet invites diversion (and subversion.) Whether it’s during lunch hour or before a big deadline, it happens. So NSFW acknowledges the common tendency and answers your question as soon as you ask it. It is a silent wink. You are part of a community–we get you and we are looking out for you.

    I am not overstating my point when I say that NSFW makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

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  • Language Police, Episode II

    180pxbdsm_collar_backI recently heard an NPR reporter say that one company had literally cleaned the clock of another company. Now, this reporter was not saying anything about the companies’ mutual attention to timepiece hygiene. She was saying that company A defeated company B soundly in the marketplace. So, by literally she meant, well, its exact opposite: figuratively.*

    Idiom, metaphor, slang, and overall flexibility are essential to any language. But there must be a safety line, a direct grounding to reality at some point. A way to say, "seriously, I am not kidding." Otherwise, when you cry "wolf," no one will believe you. This is the essential function of the word literally, and no other word has its gravitas.

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  • Lingo Mania

    DadMy dad's first book just came out: L.eadership in N.onprofit O.rganizations by B.arry D.ym and H.arry Hutson (B.arry and H.arry!). [I have added periods to prevent my parents (H.arry and Sally!) from accidentally discovering my blog via Google. See likely scenario.] He's a leadership and organizational consultant but has decided to write books too. No doubt there is some source of value (and income) in this line of work, but to be honest I fell asleep reading the back cover. It advertises features like

    "Chapters on leadership constructs such as fit, dynamics, readiness and flow which provide useful insights and methods to enable success,"

    and the "Overarching concept of alignment which reframes leadership as an active process where the awareness of and response to the interplay of multiple, relevant factors matters more than charisma, pedigree or power."

    Super. I am reminded of Office Space, or the multiple websites enumerating managerial lingo/jargon/buzzwords for giggles. Such as:

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  • Language Police, Episode I

    Call me a fogey. Call me a prescriptivist. Call me a pompous prick. But I still routinely flinch at the use of plural pronouns to signify gender-neutrality where singular pronouns are required. ("If you have a friend in trouble you should help them.") The correct generic pronouns are he and him. (I learned this lesson long ago from a female English teacher.) If you are uncomfortable with the practice, you can use the more awkward he/she and him/her, or simply alternate genders. But I think most people use they and them not for aesthetic or political reasons but out of laziness. Ok, in casual speech I can understand it. I do it sometimes too.

    But if the gender is explicitly specified, I cannot tolerate it. Example from a website I encountered recently:

    "Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend [singular, feminine] that you really do care for them [ouch] more than any other."

    Update: In multiple posts, the linguists at Language Log have argued the case that singular they is grammatically correct. In this post they cite Shakespeare as precedent and call me a "particularly puristic pusillanimous pontificator" (but not a pompous prick.)

    For more on the subject, go here and here.

  • I’m learning Spanish!

    Since moving to San Diego almost a year ago, I have already begun to learn the language of the Spaniards. How? Simply by listening to the radio. Here is an example: I frequently tune to the "urban" station Blazin’ 98.9, where they frequently remind me that they are "Noventa ocho punto nueve: Hip hop y mas." From this, I have deciphered that "y mas" is Spanish for "and crappy R&B."  Loco, ese!